The tooth fairy. What a concept. Apparently it’s French. My dad was the tooth fairy’s assistant in our family. He was in charge of pulling loose baby teeth. Dad was very sneaky about getting baby teeth out of my head. I thought I knew his latest trick and then wham! He’d find a way to
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Mannequin Maidens
There’s a house near me whose occupants have a sense of humor. In the country, lots of people have old cars, junk, and painted ancient farm equipment in the front yard. It’s rare to see statues or even gazing balls. These folks have three pregnant, headless, armless mannequins. When they first put these ladies out
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The Mystery of the Brown Shoes
The other day I drove by the hotel where my mom and dad stayed years ago for my niece’s wedding. My gentle and loving father was showing the first severe signs of Alzheimer’s, and this was the last trip they took before he was no longer able to travel. . They’d booked a room at
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Gnatly won’t leave me alone
I have a new pet. I don’t want this pet. It’s a gnat. . It follows me wherever I go in the house. In general, I don’t kill bugs or other living things. I take them outside. I may make an exception with this one. . Gnatly will sit on my laptop as I write
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The Secret Handshake
The secret handshake or how I got an obstinate pain in the a** to follow the rules. . I once worked for a bank and part of my job was managing the wire department. Frequent customers could set a verbal passcode with customer service and then call wires in without coming in to the bank.
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You Are What You Eat
The other day I heard someone remark, “You are what you eat.” Since I was eavesdropping, I didn’t feel right asking, “Hey, are we talking only food, or can we include things like anger, disappointment, humor, weightlifting, books by Jodi Taylor or Netflix? . I’m now declaring, by the power invested in me by me,
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Mrs. K and the Cadillac
As a kid you always know when adults dislike you. No matter how you try to behave in front of them, they’re suspicious. And did you ever notice how when you’re trying really hard to not piss someone off, you unintentionally end up doing the very thing that does piss them off? That’s what happened
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Weighty Wood Roach
When you live in the country, you live with the critters that invade your house. We have wolf spiders, Indiana wood roaches, no-see-ems, midges, biting flies, wasps, gnats, ants, etc. . If they’re inside, I take them outside. It’s a no-kill kind of house, at least from my point of view. Ken also takes out
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Holidays=Comatose=Our Relatives Did What??
Yesterday I was missing those holidays with my my dad’s family at my great aunts’ farm in Kentucky. There was no TV, no cell phones, no toys, no games. There was no running water and no indoor plumbing. . Water came from a farm pump on the back porch. The outhouse was in the chicken
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Michael Proposes
Let me introduce you to Michael Coleman. Ken and I never missed Chicago guitar bluesman Michael Coleman’s gigs. He’d been blues harmonica legend James Cotton’s band leader and played the kind of funky blues that had people on the dance floor after the first few bars of a song. . Michael lived for his booty
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Are We Really Like That?
Name some of your characteristics. Negative or positive, your choice. Are you smart, good-looking, terrible at relationships, bad at math, a great artist, a supermom, fat, feisty or a hundred other self-images? How did these characteristics get attached to you? Did you decide what you are? I bet you labeled yourself with input from your
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Revenge: It’s a Family Thing
My family on my dad’s side was a close knit, clannish bunch. They have roots going back so far in that one time my grandmother called people who came over on the Mayflower “late comers.” They were a tough bunch, hacking out an existence by hand on their farm. They never did have running water
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