Mom: (phone rings 5 times) Hello? Me: Good morning! Mom: Who is this?! Me: (hurt and kinda pissed) it’s me, Mom Mom: Who’s me? Me: Zain. It’s Zain your daughter. How are you? Mom: Oh. What’s new? Me: Well, I had a birthday yesterday and didn’t hear from you and Dad. Mom: Huh. Well happy
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She was crawl resistant
My daughter didn’t want to crawl. The pediatrician told me that it was important for babies to crawl. It contributes to their balance, problem solving, and coordination. But my girl was crawl resistant. She was dead set on going from tummy skydiving position straight to climbing. I would get down on the floor and crawl.
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Do you remember your hardest job?
I spent some time in the 80’s as a sous chef in a French and Italian Provencal restaurant. I’d worked as a chef but couldn’t find a job anywhere. Professional kitchens have a rigid class system and females weren’t hired very often. One restaurant offered me a dish washer’s job. A dish washer not only
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How many stitches did you get?
When we were kids, parents were the exact opposite of helicopter parents. After breakfast they told you to go outside and play. They expected you to get dirty and not die. They warned (read: threatened) you about a whole lot of things not to do. You didn’t tell them if you played in the street,
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Whoa, did you see that too? Is he okay?
“Do you think he’s okay? Should we have stopped and checked on him?” Ken asked me. “Nah,” says I, “He’s just drunk. Did you hear a huge crack? I think he broke the fence.” We were in the little red convertible around 7 PM when we’d noticed a big guy having trouble walking up a
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Impulsive Hair War Apocalypse
People are stressing about their hair during the Covid-19 pandemic. It needs cutting, or dyeing or shaving or something. I’m no stranger to hair wars. I’m an impulsive, risk taking person who’s had a mullet, braids with feathers and bells, lank ponytails, asymmetrical cuts, partial shaves and lots of different colors. Below are some of
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Help! Help! A Murder of Crows!
My friend Lucy had an unfortunate run in with a batch of crows. They don’t call a flock of crows a “murder” for nothing. Here’s proof. As she squealed into her parking space at work one morning, Lucy hit and killed a crow scavenging through fast food wrappers. Suddenly, a hundred angry crows surrounded her
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Question: what did she mean by saying “that explains a lot about you?”
My Mom was delightfully, wickedly, intelligent but born in the wrong era for the outspoken woman she was. She loved us, but children and family really weren’t her thing. You had to believe she meant well when she said some of the things she did. That wasn’t easy sometimes. Check this out. I was born
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Have you ever done something really stupid?
When I was in my 20’s I lived in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I love Ann Arbor and as time has passed I see my life there as having been a time of excitement, new ideas, new experiences and huge growth. However, for various reasons a lot of it sucked at the time. One winter day
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Fire Escape Voyeurs
After a great breakfast at the Uptown Café, Ken and I headed to the car and as we buckled up, we noticed a couple arguing on the outside stairway of the apartment building in front of us. The woman was clearly angry and the guy kept backing up floor by floor as she moved toward
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Thanksgiving chaos ala Mackey
My Mother didn’t want to cook a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. She was more interested in sitting in her favorite chair, reading the convoluted history of the English monarchy while drinking a beer and eating popcorn. Actually, this sounds great to me so I totally get her attitude. I regret to say that we were argumentative
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Do I have to learn to gobble?
I confess I’m not a runner. I’m a sprinter if something big, mean and ugly is after me but running for fun? No. . So you might wonder why I signed up for a 5k Turkey Trot this Thanksgiving. I blame this on love for my daughter. She’s a great runner, doing half marathons plus she
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