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Zain Mackey

Life Artist

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Humor

One Skunk, One Cat and Tomato Juice: Recipe for Disaster

By Zain Mackey

My sister Mary called to tell me her cat Shaman had been been sprayed by a skunk. She said it wasn’t your regular gee-the-cat-stinks story. Oh no. This is OUR family. She knew she’d have to give Shaman a bath. She prepared the traditional skunk scent removing bath of tepid tomato juice, scooped up the

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It’s the Indy 500!

By Zain Mackey

KEN: I think we should bet $5 this year. ME: You wanna lose big is that it? KEN: I intend to beat you. 5 bucks. You in or not? ME: Oh, I’m in alright. Let’s make it 10 bucks and we’ll just see who has the superior driver. (we shake on it) It’s the Indy

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Don’t tell me he’s harmless! He’s still big

By Zain Mackey

I joined the chicken co-op here at the farm and the “girls” are laying eggs like crazy. I have Tuesdays which pretty much keeps us set with eggs until my next stint. I have a history with chickens. If you haven’t read my blog about being the alpha chicken, you can find it here: I’m the

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When aliens land, you don’t know me

By Zain Mackey

I was the major caregiver for my parents before they died. I’m not cut out to be a caregiver. Not that Mom needed much care.  She was 100% sharp and all there until she died. And Dad was in an Alzheimer’s unit and other than visiting him, there wasn’t much I could do. But Mom.

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Hey buddy, move that car

By Zain Mackey

The half-moon had that hazy summer heat aura, giving the sky a misty glow as we rode home at 10 PM last night. The air was scented with something flowery and we were in the Miata convertible. We rounded a corner only to brake hard, gasping at the green glowing eyes of a black dog

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Moe Saves the Family

By Zain Mackey

The night after my first marriage there was a terrible tornado. So tempting to draw an analogy here but that would be a cheap shot. It was a small wedding in my parent’s backyard in June. It was a balmy, wildflower scent wafting, sunny day. But the next day was Midwestern hot and humid with

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Danger: Bored Creative Kids

By Zain Mackey

My older brother was always getting into trouble and dragging me along with him. Worst of all was the cat and the laundry chute incident. Our house had two floors and a basement. In the hallway on the second story was a laundry chute for dirty sheets, towels, and clothing, all of which came out

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Impulsive Hair War Apocalypse

By Zain Mackey

People are stressing about their hair during the Covid-19 pandemic. It needs cutting, or dyeing or shaving or something. I’m no stranger to hair wars. I’m an impulsive, risk taking person who’s had a mullet, braids with feathers and bells, lank ponytails, asymmetrical cuts, partial shaves and lots of different colors. Below are some of

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Help! Help! A Murder of Crows!

By Zain Mackey

My friend Lucy had an unfortunate run in with a batch of crows. They don’t call a flock of crows a “murder” for nothing. Here’s proof. As she squealed into her parking space at work one morning, Lucy hit and killed a crow scavenging through fast food wrappers. Suddenly, a hundred angry crows surrounded her

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Mayday! Hummingbird Bomber at 2 feet!

By Zain Mackey

The hummingbirds are back looking around the porch for their feeders. We enjoy watching the hummer wars as they fight over the nectar and the territory. Hummers are beautiful, aggressive little monsters and in full summer it’s like a battle zone of tiny intense soldiers vying for the prize.  When we sit out on our porch

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Which One is the Marrow Spoon?

By Zain Mackey

My Mother was a real stickler for manners. As the youngest, I caught the convergence of Mom’s good manners and a passion for all things British which included formal dining.  I was about 8, when she called me into the dining room for lessons on how to successfully dine. I enjoyed these sessions with my

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Too Hot Two Bangs, Too Cold One Bang

By Zain Mackey

When the ex and I first moved to the land I live on now, we rented a neighbor’s cottage. It was a rustic, cozy place with an outhouse close by and no running water. There was a cistern at the top of the land where you could fill water jugs plus there was an outside

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