photo credit @rachidnl
Who would you choose to be stranded with on a desert island? Just 2 of you. No idea how long you’ll be there. Give it some thought.
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The pandemic has been hard on friends, roommates, and family. It’s been an acid test of how we see the people we love, what we’re willing to accept. It’s been especially hard on couples. Once you’re done obsessing with your own mind, body, emotions, and behavior, lots of us turned the spotlight on our partner.
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This didn’t go well.
Suddenly that cute little quirk of interrupting and correcting your exaggerations in a funny story now makes you want to beat your shoes against your head. Serious discussions revolve around stupid little things. Lines get drawn.
Sure, some people found new depth to who they were as a couple. Good times, bad times they were motivated to get through it together. But most of us would benefit from having therapy or a vacation after the isolation. Either with or without our partner.
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I was a bystander twice when couples seriously lost it with each other. The first time included the banging of drawers, piercing screams, telephone calls to supporters to get more verbal ammunition and stomping off banging the door so hard the floor lamp winked out.
It was clear that relationship was dead and buried. Could be they let the hurts build up without talking. Could be they were headed that way before being thrown together 24/7 during quarantine.
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The second time was a scream fest. Neither party heard the other as they shouted and glared at each other across the couch, which by the way I was sitting on. Suddenly they both looked at me. I carefully kept a blank look on my face, sipped my drink and asked, “Would you like me to leave?”
“No,” they both said together. They patched it up in the kitchen, apologized to me and are still together. I doubt witnessing these blow ups would have happened in front of me if we all hadn’t been penned in with one another for months.
What’s the takeaway? For me it’s 90% about good communication. 4% about fair compromise and 6% about realistic expectations. So, who would you pick to be stranded with on a desert island? Better yet, I bet you know exactly who you wouldn’t pick.
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You’d be careful. You’d find someone who could communicate when things get rough. Someone smart, kind, funny, affectionate, capable. Maybe you live with that person now. Being stranded with the imperfect person you know is way better than being stranded with that unknown someone you thought was cute and exciting. The one who turns out to be a boring, mean, whiny, egomaniac. Choose well.
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I know. This post is a little more serious than most of my others. But sometimes we need to step back and consider how things are going with us. Are we happy? Headed on the path to loving what we do and who we’re with. Because if you find yourself ready for a change and you don’t know where to start, you and I should talk. Click this button Work with me and you’ll find my offerings including a free session devoted to you.
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