Sometimes I miss those swanky dinners.
What was dinner like when you were growing up? What did you eat? Talk about? My folks weren’t into traveling, they were into saving their money and eating out. And by the time I came along, they were over the whole kid’s food thing.
If they wanted to go out to dinner they hauled me along to eat whatever they ate. I ate and enjoyed okra, oysters, lobster, caviar, stinky cheese, liver, sweetbreads, rare steak; all those things I discovered no other kid would even try on a dare. I never had baloney, American cheese singles or fish sticks. When my mom still cared about cooking she made tasty dinners and we always had a green salad.
Then when she and dad were finally alone in the house, she got a microwave and dinner at home went straight to h-e-double hockey sticks. I’d visit and she’d slap some frozen fish in a foil packet for dad to cook on the ancient gas grill outside. She’d bang some veggies into the microwave on the mush setting and join dad on the patio. Dad would put the fish on the grill, relaxing on the patio with mom, listening to opera, enjoying the evening, and drinking a vodka martini.
At some point he’d remember he was cooking the fish and yank it off the grill. Mostly it was burnt but sometimes it was partially raw. Raw-ish fish mom slung into the microwave and cooked to leather. She didn’t want me to cook so I started suggesting we go out. After 50+ years cooking dinners she rightfully deserved a break.
The folk’s idea of eating out wasn’t fast food it was dining. We visited upscale steakhouses, tried Thai, Mexican, Vietnamese, French or whatever new restaurant sounded interesting. Gourmet pizza became a thing. Dinners were slow, there were cocktails and good conversation was expected. It was during these dinners I learned a great lesson.
It’s never too late to get to know your parents as people with ideas, dreams, adventures, and disappointments. Dinner out is the perfect time. All it takes is you being interested and saying, “What did you dream of doing after high school (or college or after you got married or after you got out of the service)?” It’s all about connection. And maybe you’ll try some good or new foods you swore would never pass through your lips. Give it a try. It may end up being the best dinner of your life.
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