Fear and Change at the Bar
Fear and Change walk into a Bar…
I know change is scary. I’m talking real fear and change, the lasting kind, the kind that makes your hair stand on end but you do it anyway. If you’re like me fearing change sometimes brings out the stubborn goat in you so that you do things to look brave and self-confident.
Like:
“I’ll never smoke again.” (Oh yeah? Well maybe I will.)
“I will never date another psychopath.” (Who is that attractive, wild and crazy man over there?)
“I will stick to this healthy diet.” (It’s your birthday! We gotta celebrate! Bring on the cake! The champagne! The chocolate!)
Somewhere in all this we forget we’re meant to be changing for us. At least we should be changing for ourselves. Then why are we so afraid of walking down the unknown path? Why do we let fear buy our desire to change and our low self-confidence a drink and end up forgetting the whole change idea? Could it be that changing makes us feel ignorant because if we fail, we’ll be uncool, or look like a complete ass in front of people we’d prefer to impress?
Not changing isn’t so great though. I went to a high school reunion and was amazed at how many people just STOPPED growing and changing after high school. Just standing in their presence made me want to chew my arm off because it was the only way I was going to keep quiet about how fabulous it is to really experience life, to change, to conquer the fear and move forward to new adventures. I also met plenty of people at that reunion who had challenged themselves, took a leap of faith, faced their fear and changed. They were absolutely remarkable and a blast to talk with. What made these people overcome their fear of change? How about this…
They loved to learn something new and were willing to accept temporary setbacks;
They followed a passion and didn’t give up no matter what anyone else thought;
They were willing to step out into the unknown, into the fear zone and DO IT ANYWAY.
Not surprisingly, sometimes the results of going for it are life changing and amazing. Sometimes the results are, meh. And sometimes the results are icky. But all these changes and attempts to change jumbled together makes each of us fabulously unique, sometimes hilariously funny and downright wonderful. Wouldn’t you rather talk to someone who has taken a big quaff from the cup of life rather than continuing to rehash their winning football scores or prom queen dress success from 20 years ago? I think I know your answer.
When we grow and change we develop something very important: something interesting and unique to say about the life we’ve experienced. We can develop a new take on our vision of spirituality, or the wonder of meeting other people so very different than we are, of seeing the beauty of nature unparalleled in photographs. The thicker skin needed when stepping outside your comfort zone required to deflect the potential ridicule, doom predictors and nay-sayers living in fear of change is an added benefit. Be gone, nay-sayers!
Change is a way of really loving your incredible self. Fear is a way of denying yourself a full life. You deserve better.
So take action! Sign up for that swing dance class you’ve always wanted to try. Paint a kitchen wall purple. Go back to school and get that degree, even if you’re 80 years old. Connect with an old friend, so what if you haven’t lost those last 10 pounds. Sign up for open mic night at that local bar. Dream about it and do it. You owe it to yourself to rock your own world.
I’d love to help you build some self-confidence and take the plunge into a fuller life. Click here Sign me up and we’ll chat.
