Bog photo by @morganeper on Unsplash
I have a new pet. I don’t want this pet. It’s a gnat.
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It follows me wherever I go in the house. In general, I don’t kill bugs or other living things. I take them outside. I may make an exception with this one.
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Gnatly will sit on my laptop as I write and watch me. It will follow me into the bathroom and fly around me while I’m brushing my teeth. It appears to love mealtime, investigating the cooking process from a perch just out of reach. It dives into my food if I leave dinner unattended on the table.
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I’ve tried to catch it. It’s super alert. Smart Gnatly that it is, it stays away from Ken. Ken has no problem killing pestering gnats. Gnatly senses I’m torn about this.
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Perhaps Gnatly is the reincarnation of someone trying to get my attention. If so, it has that. It’s the translation from gnat to human I’m having trouble with. Besides, if I start saying, “Hey Dad, is that you?” to a gnat, Ken is going to really think I’ve lost my marbles.
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I’ve read about gnats and there is no reason for this one to be swarming around me. I take showers regularly. I admit the house could be cleaner but it’s not like we leave anything out to attract gnats. Besides, it’s just one gnat. At least I think it’s just one gnat. Gnatly’s not wearing a name tag for god’s sake.
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And why is it just sitting and watching me? That’s the weird part. It seems fine with hanging out on my laptop, not moving, while I type. Right now, Gnatly has disappeared. Can I be so lucky?
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It won’t take long before it’s back circling my head, bouncing off my glasses and generally making my life more irritating than usual. Ooo maybe Gnatly’s a former boyfriend. That would explain a lot.
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