Yours truly with long hair (from long ago)
People are stressing about their hair during the Covid-19 pandemic. It needs cutting, or dyeing or shaving or something.
I’m no stranger to hair wars. I’m an impulsive, risk taking person who’s had a mullet, braids with feathers and bells, lank ponytails, asymmetrical cuts, partial shaves and lots of different colors.
Below are some of my hair adventures and the lessons I learned.
When I lived in Manitou Springs, I decided I’d had it with my waist length hair. I did the big no-no. I went into a random salon and told the stylist to cut it all off and perm it.
NEVER GO RADICAL HAIR WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR THINK YOU WILL BE LATER.
I ended up with a tight afro! It was bad-shocking and even I didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror.
To make sure I wasn’t exaggerating the bad, I went to The Village Inn where my ex worked and ordered lunch. He didn’t recognize me. When I introduced myself, he turned an ugly shade of red and burst out laughing. Lesson: No more stupid perms.
My hair is dark reddish-brown. That didn’t stop me from deciding to go blond.
AGAIN, NEVER GO RADICAL HAIR WHEN YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR THINK YOU WILL BE LATER.
To make sure I wasn’t exaggerating the bad, I wore it around for a while for reactions. I dyed it back to dark brown the night a car of guys pulled up beside me leering. “Hey baby, how much?” Lesson: It’s not true that blonds have more fun.
At 53 I had long hair below my waist. I did the big no-no. I went into a random salon and told the stylist to cut it all off. At least I didn’t ask for a perm.
The stylist refused to cut it. He said he never made radical hair changes for people he didn’t know. I liked the guy immediately but told him, “You don’t cut it, I will.” He sighed and said he’d cut it but only to just above my shoulders. We shook on it.
Just to make sure I wasn’t exaggerating how good it was, I told no one in advance and just walked into work the next day. People went crazy. The most popular comment after, “You cut your hair!” was “You look 10 years younger!” Geez Louise, how the hell old did I look before the cut? Lesson: Listen to a qualified, honest expert when it comes to radically changing your hair.
Being dissatisfied about my hair and going radical is a psychological study for the textbooks. When I’m really stressed out, my hair is in danger!
Write me a comment below and tell me your hair adventures.
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Cannot top but only replicate or echo your experiences. I too have had the brother bang cut (picture the three year old with Frnch braids down to the waist & the crown of my head shaved to a swankie summer buzz!).
Or when my friend drug me & my waist length, straight as a stick hippie hair with the appropriate feather bangs to the salon & into the 80s with layers & a perm which rendered me the appearance of a nuclear cloud hovering down & over my petite frame. I fidgeted with it and it appeared to take on a life of its own growing bigger & bigger into a mushroom cloud. When my husband came home he was speechles. All he could do was pat it with palms open to my shoulder width with a stunned expression & mouth that could only mutter sounds like, “Whaaaaat….?”
I LOVE the nuclear cloud story! It was such a bad time for perms.
I too have straight as a stick hair when it’s long, but when it’s short it has these uncontrollable waves. Who knew?!
Wait, did your brother actually shave your head to a buzz and you still had those braids? Please tell me you have a picture!
Really, I think my worst hair cut was when I was pregnant and decided to do this strange haircut that was the most unflattering style ever (last visit to THAT guy). When I went up to see a neighbor Marilyn here on the Farm, her stepson told me I looked like a pregnant dyke and then he laughed himself sick. Little shit.;)
Much love!