Violent chills rocked my arms, my throat swelled, my knees knocked and it was 50/50 whether I was going to fall down. I got scared. In the space of an hour I was sick, sick, sick.
I knew I’d bite the thermometer into little mercury pools so scratch that. I warmed up a rice bag grabbed a blanket, downed two Advil and slid into bed. Was this an allergic reaction? No hives and although my throat was swollen badly I was still breathing so I decided no hospital. I alerted Ken to check and make sure I was alive in about an hour and waited. And I slept.
3 am the fever broke and I was drenched, weak but still alive. Yippie! Changed clothes and slept until 8. Cancelled all my plans for two days and concentrated on listening to my body.
Have you had this conversation before? Body conversation 101. What do you need? Sleep. But I need to do…sleep. I’m home so I could…sleep. Drink tea, eat soup, sleep. Add read, and make it something you don’t have to remember. Read, sleep, drink tea, meditate. I listened. But I’m a tough, hard headed thing (bet you couldn’t tell) so I did 2 loads of laundry and paid some bills. Because I can’t let go of that driven demon with the whip that lives somewhere inside me. Does this sound at all familiar?
I listened to my body until I started feeling better. Then I was restless and grumpy. My body whispered, “shower then rest.” “Ok,” says my head, “check.” “Then more of the same: rest, tea, read, meditate, for pity’s sake Z, you talk about it, practice some self care!”
Always before I’ve ignored my body and soldiered on, kept going, stayed in my head and whatever sickness I had was not only miserable but long. This time I learned some great but simple lessons: listen to your body, listen closely, be gentle and follow.
Today I’m doing the follow: rest, drink tea, spend time writing, rest, meditate, go outside in the sunshine, read and feel the strength return. I’ve been grateful that I listened and got over being the woman of steel (even if I did have to swear at myself once or twice to get in bed and stay there). Lightbulb: I have nothing to prove to anyone but myself.
This is who we are: over reachers, over stressers, over doers and self neglecters. But I’m trying to change my evil ways. And you? Did you take care of yourself today?
Drop me a line at https://zainmackeycoaching.com or comment below and let me know your thoughts. I love to hear from you. Please share this friends who might need to think about a little more self care.
xo Z
Thanks for these reminders. There have been times in my life where I almost willed myself to be sick so that I could actually have an excuse to do nothing. I remember that feeling when I had my three kids. I got to have time off from work. It felt amazing to not have to go to work. What a way to get a vacation!
Mary-
I hear you. The things we do to take care of ourselves! It’s too bad we don’t live in a culture that recognizes how important it is to take time for and care for ourselves. We get awards for being the overworked poor-me victim and pretty soon, we adopt that person as our own. If you do take care of yourself, it’s viewed as laziness. Not healthly.