Here’s his photo. @bryan_padron
My family on my dad’s side was a close knit, clannish bunch. They have roots going back so far in that one time my grandmother called people who came over on the Mayflower “late comers.”
They were a tough bunch, hacking out an existence by hand on their farm. They never did have running water or a bathroom that I remember and we’re talking the 70s. Outhouse was in the chicken yard. Pump for water was on the back porch. Cats were one-eyed mousers who lived in the barn. Pigs and cows were for selling and eating. Chickens who didn’t produce became Sunday dinner. Roosters who bothered you ended up as soup.
There was an age-old feud between our family and a neighboring family over land that carried on for over 100 years. When I was a kid, I was told that these no-good folks, “walked the land” when great granddaddy died, figuring it would soon be theirs. A few shotgun blasts put an end to that idea.
All this to say that the family never seemed to forget and wasn’t into forgiving. There were inexcusable things in their eyes. They were ALWAYS on your side even if you were to blame. It must have been the other person’s fault.
If your boyfriend left you for another woman, why she must have been a floozie. And someone would say something to cheer you up like, “I know someone who’s wearing a fur coat with a white stripe down the back!” Clearly that skunk was not good enough for you.
And if you left your boyfriend or husband for another man? Well, they never really liked him anyway and good riddance to bad rubbish.
I too carry the revenge gene. When my daughter suffered a bad break-up with her ex, I asked her, “Honey, do you want me to get your aunties together and come up there and kick his butt?” She laughed hard through her tears but declined the offer. When I mentioned to her godmother that the relationship had ended, she asked me if we needed to “go up there and straighten his ass out.” Sounds awfully familiar.
But it’s all bluster. We can be frightening, but what we’re offering each other is unconditional love. How could that person hurt wonderful you? We hate to see you hurt and sad. We want you to know that no matter what, we love you. That we believe in you and stick with you through whatever you’re going through. Because we’re family and we have your back. And that other guy? He better watch his ass.
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