Have you seen this vandal?
Conversations are all stories. Everything that comes out of our mouths gets filtered through the cheesecloth of our brains. Ick. I’m not sure I like that analogy but you get my drift. Here’s an example:
Today I was making breakfast and noticed that Ken was tip toeing across our deck with a gun in his hand and a murderous look in his eyes.
This is not normal. He’s a peaceful guy. However, I’m pleased to say I didn’t panic because I know the following to be true:
1. He never looks sneaky without a very good reason no matter what;
2. He hates, no loathes squirrels and I saw some squirrel action near the cars;
3. He is quietly working on his aim.
Squirrels have made our lives miserable and a little dangerous. At first we left out dried corn for them to chew on.
They took advantage of us. They ate the corn and then started in on the truck. They caused over $1,500 worth of damage and that didn’t include the towing charges. The insurance company was doubtful. They sent an inspector. He was stunned. They paid the whole repair bill.
Not to be discouraged, the squirrels started in on my CRV. They especially like fuel and brake lines. I’m assuming this is because they have a vendetta against humans and are shortening our lives. Whatever the case, that was when the pellet rifle was purchased.
The purchase of a pellet rifle was contentious. I don’t kill things on purpose. Not mosquitoes, roaches, spiders or mice (And I loathe mice. It’s the rodent thing.). It’s one of the few things Ken and I have argued about. And before you ask, we tried alternatives: mothballs, hot pepper oil, live trapping and various “squirrel off” methods before Ken purchased the pellet rifle. I suppose a dog would help but we don’t want a dog.
This morning I didn’t ask him if he fired the gun. We’re just going to agree to disagree on the whole gun thing. And here’s why: yesterday I saw a squirrel jump down from the rear wheel well of my car. Now my check engine light is on. Coincidence? We’ll see.
This just in: We lost our power for several hours this morning and here is the email I got from our neighbor: “The power outage this AM was caused by a squirrel chewing into some wires at (name of other neighbors) pole at the bottom of their drive. The (power company) guy actually found 2 dead squirrels. RIP squirrels.”
Yeah. Good riddance.
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