I bet the tooth fairy lives here.
photo @sapegin
The tooth fairy. What a concept. Apparently it’s French.
My dad was the tooth fairy’s assistant in our family. He was in charge of pulling loose baby teeth. Dad was very sneaky about getting baby teeth out of my head. I thought I knew his latest trick and then wham! He’d find a way to surprise me.
See the following list. Any of these apply to you?
#1 tooth pulling method: the door knob.
Instructions: tie a string around the loose tooth. Tie the other end of the string to a door knob. Stand child so string doesn’t sag. Slam door shut.
Success rate: this only worked one time for me. After that, I’d walk toward the door before it slammed, putting slack in the string and a scowl on Dad’s face.
Tooth fairy assistant remedy: Yank the string as hard as you can while pretending to tie it to the door knob.
#2 tooth pulling method: “I’m going to count to three.”
Instructions: get child to wiggle tooth to indicate position. Firmly grasp tooth. Say, “I’m going to count to three, so be ready.” Count, pulling tooth on three.
Success rate: dismal with much screaming. Bite hazard.
Tooth fairy assistant remedy: Excessive wiggling and twisting while saying “I’m going to count to three.” Pull tooth on two.
#3 tooth pulling method: bribery.
Instructions: Promise child forbidden candy if child lets you pull the tooth.
Success rate: 85-95%
Tooth fairy assistant remedy: Promise but renege. Once Dad pulled the tooth he spaced the whole candy thing. Future promises only worked if the candy was in sight.
#4 tooth pulling method: the pliers.
Instructions: tell child, “It’s really in there. I’m getting the pliers.”
Success rate: unknown.
Tooth fairy assistant remedy: this method was threatened if I was being noncompliant. Would he have ever used pliers? I honestly don’t know.
We got a quarter for each baby tooth. My friend Wendy told me she recycled her baby teeth for cash! Apparently, her tooth fairy didn’t spirit the tooth away, but left it with the quarter under her pillow. Wendy made $25! I think Wendy’s tooth fairy was bad at math or not paying attention.
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