photo by Alexander Andrews on Unsplash
Here are two tales about our cat named Jack Pumpkinhead Underfoot. He’s a green eyed ginger fellow and the best cat I’ve ever had.
I’m calling tale #1 “Smashing the Pumpkinhead.”
One winter I came out of our garage not knowing there was ice underneath the snow on the little deck. Jack came up for a petting and as I leaned down to scratch his head, my gym bag swung around and threw me down the three steps right on top of Mr. Kat!
Jack did some fast evasive footwork, in a Halloween cat sort of fashion, as I fell toward him face down off the deck onto the gravel drive. I lay there taking inventory of my injuries (none, except my ego) as Jack watched me warily from afar.
When I finally got to my feet and staggered to the house, Mr. Kat trotted merrily after me with visions of cat treats in his future. Luckily for me when it comes to Jack and cat treats, his memory of bad events is short.
Tale #2 should have a cool title. I like “Zombie Cat Eye.”
Jack developed some problem with his left eye this year which turned the iris from green to brown and had scary red veins pulsing like a horror movie zombie’s rotting eyes. Art, the vet, came out and wrote a steroid prescription for Jack that we could fill at CVS. When Ken went to pick it up here is what the pharmacy wanted to know:
“Date of birth?” they asked. “He’s a cat,” Ken replied. “We still need at date,” they said. Ken gave them January 31, 1950. Wow. We now have a 70 year old cat. “Yes, hello is this Guinness World Records?”
“Last name?” they asked. “He’s a cat,” Ken replied. “We still need a last name,” they said. “Mackey,” says Ken. I now have a 70 year old son. This makes Jack significantly older than his mother. “Hello, Guinness? We have another miracle over here.”
“We’ll just use your address and phone number, okay?” They finally got the drift. I swear, life is so hilarious sometimes why bother making things up?
Poor Jack ended up losing his sight in that eye but at least the pulsing red veins have calmed down. He’s on the railing right now looking in the window at me and trolling for some treats. Gotta go.
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