Dakota with Santa 1995
It’s the holiday season! That means it’s time for a shocking tale about Santa.
When my daughter Dakota was 3 years old, my Mother insisted on taking her to LS Ayres Department store in downtown Indianapolis. LS Ayres had 4 magical windows that depicted holiday scenes and a Santa visit for the kids.
Window #1 was a miniature town circa 1900 where the figures moved around caroling, a train came into the station loaded with presents and every once in a while it snowed. Figures walked in and out of shops, and dogs jumped around in the snow.
Window #2 was Santa’s workshop with the elves, Santa, some reindeer, and tons of toys. Every once in a while the Santa would get up or wink at you because he was a real person. Scared the sh** out of you every time.
Window #3 sported a huge Christmas tree and mannequins doing Christmas stuff like drinking cocoa, opening presents and looking super elegant in their LS Ayres clothing (4th Floor Ladies!) including the little kid mannequins in their lovely pajamas (Children’s Department 3rd Floor!).
Window #4 was a tableau of Silent Night or some other religious Christmas carol. There was Christmas music piped onto the sidewalk and lots of stars and fake snow. I don’t remember a Hanukkah or any other religious scene ever being displayed.
This was the madness we waded into for Dakota to see Santa (visit With Santa 6th Floor!).
I am not a huge Christmas person but Mom was insistent: every child had to see Santa at LS Ayres. It was tradition! Thankfully the Santa line was small.
I tried to peel Dakota off my neck to sit in Santa’s lap but she decided Santa looked like a serial killer who tortured and ate small children. Mom talked gently to her explaining that Santa just wanted to hear what she’d like for the holidays.
No. Dakota wasn’t buying.
Then a sweet looking girl-elf appeared and asked Dakota if she’d like to talk to Santa and then get a toy. The elf promised that Dakota didn’t have to sit on Santa’s lap. She could just stand in front of Santa and mention what she was hoping to get for Christmas. Dakota nodded, took the elf’s hand and stood there in front of Santa. Finger in mouth. Wary. Nope. Not talking to the fat guy in a red suit with a fake beard.
With a sigh my Mom took Dakota’s other hand and with the elf they walked over to get a toy.
“Hey baby.” I whirled around. Santa winked at me and patted his knee. “You wanna sit on Santa’s lap? I get off at 7 PM if you wanna leave the kid with grandma. We could get a drink, talk, maybe dinner. Fine thing like you needs a little Santa TLC for the holidays.” I was completely stunned.
Santa was hitting on me. “Ah, no thanks ah, Santa,” I managed to choke out. I thought about Mrs. Claus. The shock! Santa was a lecher.
“Well baby, change your mind and Santa will treat you right for the holidays, guaranteed.”
I hurried over to where my Mom and Dakota were waiting. As we walked out the door, my Mom turned to me and said, “Was Santa trying to pick you up?” We both stared at one another for a moment and then burst out laughing. “What was he thinking? Ick.” I said. Dakota’s intuition was right but I wonder if Santa ever got lucky for Christmas. I hope not.
I absolutely know you have some great holiday stories to share. Like the time Uncle Pete drank too much spiked punch again at the holiday dinner and feel asleep on the couch and you kids used mom’s lipstick and permanent markers to make him look like a monkey. Really, you did a good job and although the adults tried not to laugh you were in big trouble. And then your Dad went out and bought charcoal for your stockings to teach you all a lesson. Remember how you cried the next morning when you saw all you got was coal? Luckily they let you have your presents later on. Hit reply and let me know!
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Take care of yourself. –xo Z
